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	<title>Changing Course Blog &#187; Overcoming Fear</title>
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		<title>Is What&#039;s In Your &quot;Competence Rulebook&quot; Holding You Back?</title>
		<link>http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/2010/04/is-whats-in-your-competence-rulebook-holding-you-back/</link>
		<comments>http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/2010/04/is-whats-in-your-competence-rulebook-holding-you-back/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Apr 2010 17:03:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Changing Course Newsletter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Impostor Syndrome]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Overcoming Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Val's Comments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[competence]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Valerie Young]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feel like a fake]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Feel like a fraud]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Impostor Phenomenon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lack of confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[minority affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming the Impostor Syndrome]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pauline Clance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perfectionist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self doubt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sheila Edwards Lange]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/?p=534</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Valerie Young Last week I delivered a keynote presentation to 250 university and corporate professionals in Baltimore. They were there for a conference on how to encourage more women and people of color to enter and then succeed in the field of engineering. My presentation was titled, &#8220;How to Help Students Overcome the Impostor [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family: Verdana; color: #008000;"><strong>By </strong><strong>Valerie Young</strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Last week I delivered  a keynote presentation to 250 university and corporate professionals in  Baltimore. They were there for a conference on how to encourage more  women and  people of color to enter and then succeed in the field of engineering. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">My presentation was  titled, &#8220;How to Help Students Overcome the Impostor Syndrome.&#8221; I was not  the  least bit surprised that the people I helped most were the adults in the  room &#8212;  most of whom have PhDs! </span></p>
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<p style="text-align: center;"><em> <span style="font-size: small;">Sheila Edwards Lange, Vice President and Vice Provost for Minority Affairs and Diversity  			at the University of Washington and keynote corporate sponsor rep  			Wayne Robinson, Talent and Recruiting Manager for Nucor. Sheila is  			getting ready to introduce Wayne who is getting ready to introduce  			me.<br />
Gotta love conferences!</span></em></p>
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<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The Impostor  Phenomenon (more commonly known as the Impostor Syndrome) was first  identified  by psychologists Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes in the 1980s.  Impostor  feelings involve more than a simple lack of confidence. After all,  everyone  experiences bouts of self-doubt from time to time and especially when  attempting  something new. But for impostors, self-doubt is chronic. It&#8217;s normal to  be upset  by a bad performance. The impostor experiences shame.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">It&#8217;s also possible to  doubt your abilities without believing that you ultimately succeeded  because of  some sleight of hand or that you&#8217;re fooling others. For instance, you  could have  normal jitters before getting up to give your first speech. If you do  well, this  in turn makes you feel more confident about speaking in public the next  time.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">But the impostor  doesn&#8217;t think this way. Because no matter how well you did or how loud  the  applause, you always think you could have done better. Or you dismiss  the  success all together thinking, &#8220;Oh, I just had a good audience.&#8221; In  other words,  doing well does not result in any real bump in confidence because you  don&#8217;t feel  you earned the success in the first place.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Your perceptions of  what it takes to be competent, has a powerful impact on how you measure  yourself  and therefore how you approach achievement itself. And if you feel like  an  intellectual fraud, then there is an excellent chance that you have been   operating from a definition of competence that is so grandiose that not  even a  certifiable genius could ever hope to attain. And it&#8217;s time to change  that.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">The first step is to  determine your dominant &#8220;Competence Type.&#8221; Are you&#8230;</span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The  	Perfectionist. </strong>For you everything must be flawless. To be less than   	perfect or to have an off day, an off-presentation, an off-anything, is   	simply unacceptable. For you, the competence equation is Success =  	Perfection.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The Rugged  	Individualist</strong>. For your achievements to be legitimate you believe  you  	have to do and figure out everything yourself. If someone helped you  get the  	job or if you were part of a team, in your mind your contribution no  longer  	&#8220;counts.&#8221; For you, the competence equation is Success = Solo  Achievement.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The Expert. </strong>You measure your competence on how much you know. And there in lies  the  	rub. You will never &#8220;know it all.&#8221; So you will never see yourself as  fully  	competent. For you, the competence equation is Success = Knowing  Everything.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The Natural  	Genius.</strong> Competence is measured in terms of ease and speed. The fact  that  	you have to apply yourself or that some things come more easily than  others  	&#8220;proves&#8221; you are not a bright as others. For you, the competence  equation is  	Success = Innate and Effortless Genius.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong>The Extremist</strong>.  	You know you are capable of greatness because, like all of us, you&#8217;ve  	experienced those flashes of brilliance. As such you expect to maintain  that  	level of thought and action all day, every day. So when you have those  &#8220;I  	felt so stupid&#8221; moments you are very unforgiving. For you, the  competence  	equation is Success = 24/7 Genius. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><strong> Superwoman/Super Student.</strong> You measure yourself based on being able  to  	juggle and excel in multiple roles. In addition to over-achieving in  your  	work, you hold yourself to impossibly high standards in all aspects of  your  	life&#8230; home, parenting, relationships, physical appearance, academics,   	community service. For you, the competence equation is Success = Doing  it  	all.</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Any one of these  Competence Types can sabotage your dream of profiting from your passion.  Why?  Because working on a dream, any dream, means being willing to:</span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Ask for help and advice (a lot)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Not know all the answers (ever!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Make mistakes (constantly!) and learn from them</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Experience the highs and lows of feeling super  smart and super dumb (get used to it!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Recognize that perfection is often impossible  and rarely necessary (to say nothing of over-rated!) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Know that no one &#8212;  including you &#8212; can do it all  (nor should you try!)</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Jennifer White wrote,  &#8220;Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead.&#8221; Woodrow Wilson  said, &#8220;I  not only use all the brains I have, but all that I can borrow.&#8221; And Will  Rogers  reminds us that, &#8220;Everyone is ignorant, only on different subjects.&#8221; If  your  definition of competence is holding you back, then make today the day  you begin  to foster a healthier, more realistic definition.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Verdana;">If you&#8217;d like to  learn more about the Impostor Syndrome and how you can feel as bright  and  capable as you really are, <a><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"> </span></strong></a><strong><a href="http://changingcourse.com/impostor.htm" target="_blank">click here.</a></strong></span> You and your dream of  profiting from  your passion will be glad you did!</p>
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		<title>How Do You Overcome the Terror of Failing?</title>
		<link>http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/2008/12/overcome-the-terror-of-failing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/2008/12/overcome-the-terror-of-failing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Dec 2008 14:26:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Changing Course Newsletter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Overcoming Fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Val's Comments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding business opportunities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lessons from entrepreneurs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcome the fear of failing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting goals for 2009]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[starting your own business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[taking risks when starting a business]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[using fear to work for you]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.changingcourse.com/blog/?p=109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you really want to change course to work for yourself, then you absolutely must readjust your emotional response to failure. This means embracing some fundamental truths about failure that have guided successful people since the first caveman’s spear missed that first wooly mammoth and he picked it up to try again.]]></description>
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						<span style="font-size: 8pt">Valerie and her rescue dog,<br />&quot;Cokie Roberts&quot;</span></font></td>
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<p>				<font face="Verdana" size="2" color="#008000"><b>By Valerie Young</b></font></p>
<p>
<i>This article originally appeared in <a  target="_blank" href="http://changingcoursearchives.com/issue199.html"><strong><font color="#800080">Issue 199</font></strong></a> of the <a  target="_blank" href="http://changingcourse.com/ezine.htm"><strong><font color="#800080">Changing Course Newsletter</font></strong></a>.</i></p>
<p></code><br />
That was the question someone asked in a recent survey of Changing Course readers. It was the second time in as many months that someone who was getting ready to start a small business talked about being “terrified” of failing. In neither case were we talking about anyone putting their home up as collateral or sinking their life savings into a venture. In fact, the stakes were relatively low. And all too often this sense of terror at the prospect of failing can be paralyzing.</p>
<p>Every entrepreneur experiences failures on the way to success. I am certainly no exception. While I was still in my corporate job, I decided to produce a line of humorous greeting cards on the side. I spent months drawing each card, surveying my friends to see which ones people liked best, and then invested a couple of thousand of dollars getting them printed. They sold pretty well in small gift stores in San Francisco, Boston, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, and Provincetown, Massachusetts. But about a year into it, I realized that it was the wrong business for me.</p>
<p>Did I spend more money than I made? Yes. But I never felt like a failure. To the contrary, I felt proud of myself for giving it my best shot. I learned a ton about the greeting card business which I’ve been able to share with others considering that same path, and I moved on to my next venture with a much clearer picture of what I was looking for in a livelihood.</p>
<p>No one sets out to fail and certainly no one likes it when they do. But terror? There are things worthy of being terrified about like global warming or a car bomb going off in your neighborhood. Giving something your best shot and finding out that it didn’t work, well, I call that “life.”</p>
<p>If you really want to change course to work for yourself, then you absolutely must readjust your emotional response to failure. This means embracing some fundamental truths about failure that have guided successful people since the first caveman’s spear missed that first wooly mammoth and he picked it up to try again.</p>
<p>To get you started, here are six rules about failure, mistake-making and risk-taking that every entrepreneur needs to understand:</p>
<h2>Rule 1: You’ll strike out more often then not.</h2>
<p>In baseball a .333 batting average is considered outstanding. If you’re not a baseball fan, what this means is that for every 10 pitches, the batter only has to hit the ball three times to be considered exceptional. Even the legendary Babe Ruth “only” batted .342. The point is, you can be at the top of your game and still strike out more often than not. No one bats 1000, so stop expecting yourself to be the exception.</p>
<h2>Rule 2: Failures offer valuable lessons – and opportunities. </h2>
<p>Believe it or not, there is lots of good news about failure. Henry Ford understood that, “Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” In engineering, the process of “failure analysis” is based on the recognition that you can learn just as much from studying what went wrong as you can from what went right. It is this understanding that led Thomas Edison to famously remark, “I have not failed. I have successfully discovered 1,200 ideas that don’t work.”</p>
<p>Instead of seeing your flops as evidence of your incompetence, think of them as information you can use to do better next time. Do you need to develop or hone a certain skill? Do you need more practice or a different approach? Do you need to delegate the things you’re not gifted at? What will you do differently next time? What lessons can you glean? The sooner you grasp the learning value following what feels like a setback, the better. The key is to fail forward.</p>
<h2>Rule 3: Failure is just a curve in the road. </h2>
<p>I know how easy it is to be so discouraged by setbacks that you just give up. But it’s time you start seeing failure for what it is, a curve in the road and not the end of the road. Did you know that Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper job for “lacking ideas”? Or that H. Macy’s store failed seven times before it caught on? Or that Michael Jordan was cut from his junior varsity basketball team? Did they give up? No.</p>
<p>If Abraham Lincoln had taken failure as cause to quit, it would have changed the course of history. In fact he suffered repeated failures on the road to success. After failing as a storekeeper and a farmer, Lincoln decided to run for political office. He failed. Once he finally did get elected to the legislature, he sought the office of speaker and failed. He failed in his first bid for Congress. He failed when he sought the appointment to the United States Land Office. And he failed when he ran for the United States Senate. Despite repeated public failures, Lincoln never saw failure as a reason to give up.</p>
<h2>Rule 4: Not taking risks may be the riskiest move of all. </h2>
<p>So much of changing course comes down to being able to shift your thinking about what “risk” really means. It worked for Janice Bennett. Whenever people begin with “What if…” right before saying “…it doesn’t work?” Janice would always finish their question with, “…what if it does?” “Now,” says Janice, “is the time for me to [ask myself] not only what could happen to me if I didn’t make the change, but what could happen to me if I DO?  Wow, those possibilities are endless. As morbid as it may sound, at my funeral, I want it to be full, to be standing room only, to be overflowing, to know that I made a difference in people’s lives, and I touched them somehow.”</p>
<p>Just two weeks after Janice shared her big “aha” at the Changing Course Blog, she took her own advice. She took the plunge and signed up for the Outside of the Job Box Career Expert and Small Business Success Idea Consultant Course. I have no doubt that in the process of realizing “endless possibilities” for herself, that Janice’s ability to turn fear into excitement will indeed make a difference in the lives of everyone she touches.</p>
<p>Whenever you try anything new there will always the risk of failure. At the same time, not taking risks is often the riskiest move of all. The reason Michael Jordon says he made so many baskets is because he was willing to take so many shots, explaining, “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games.  Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”</p>
<h2>Rule 5: It’s not your failures that count but how you handle them. </h2>
<p>Imagine making a major mistake with 1 billion people watching. That’s what Miss USA Crystle Stewart did when she fell during the 2008 Miss Universe pageant. She handled the fiasco by putting on a radiant smile, picking herself up and clapping her hands over her head as if to say, “Let’s have a round of applause.” This was not the first time Stewart had to pick herself up after a failure. It had taken her five tries before being crowned Miss Texas. As you think about launching that entrepreneurial dream, remind yourself that it’s not your failures that count, but how you handle them.</p>
<h2>Rule 6: Choose what kind of failures you want to have.</h2>
<p>In his commencement address at Macalister College, radio show host and author Garrison Keillor encouraged his audience to “have interesting failures.” Let those words sink in for a moment. Have interesting failures. Not only do you have a choice about how you handle failure, you also have a huge say in what kind of failures to have.</p>
<p>From time to time you’re going to miss the mark. So why just be a failure at parallel parking or balancing your checkbook when you can come in third at the National Jigsaw Puzzle Championships, only write one children’s book, or make it only half way up Mount Everest? The fact that you never fail is proof of only one thing – you never tried.</p>
<p>Every day you get to choose settling over reaching, inaction over action, continuing to live your life the way it is over the life you could have. It really is your choice. As Billie Jean King once said, “Be bold. If you’re going to make an error, make a doozey, and don’t be afraid to hit the ball.”</p>
<h2>Rule 7: Make your fear work for you.</h2>
<p>It’s one thing to quietly promise yourself that you’re going to push past your fears and finally act on those long buried dreams. It’s quite another thing to announce to the world your intention to write your first chapter, hold your own seminar, figure out how to sell your jewelry, learn a new craft, or whatever it is you’ve been “terrified” of doing. It&#8217;s quite another to announce it to the world. </p>
<p>Yet making a public commitment is one of the best ways to ensure that you’ll actually follow through, because now you’ve built in that all important accountability. After all, suddenly other people are watching and waiting. Sure the naysayers are watching and waiting for any setback so they can say, “I told you so.” But if you make a point to tell the “right” people I guarantee they’ll be cheering you on. And guess what? When other people see you taking steps, they’ll be inspired to act too.</p>
<p>That’s because action is contagious! Which is why I’m asking all of the members of the Changing Course Club to add their goals to a “Changing Course in 2009 Pledge list.” It’s a new section of the Club Forum where members get to stand up and publicly state their goal and one action they’ll take to get there and the date they pledge to take that action. And, if they choose, Club Members can sign up to be in a small Tele-Study Group or Dream Team to help one another stay on track. (Not a member? Learn more at <a target="_blank" href="http://ChangingCourse.com/changingcourseclub.htm">ChangingCourse.com/changingcourseclub.htm</a>)</p>
<p>With the New Year comes the opportunity to start anew… to make new choices. Which will you choose – fear or action?</p>
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