Which of these tough calls have you had to make:
- Take the job… or decline and hope for something better
- Quit a toxic job… or stick it out and pray things gets better
- Sign up for that great conference or the workshop… or pass this time and hope it comes around again
- Relocate to a new home or community or country… or stay put
We all need to make major decisions regarding our work lives.
Two years ago I had to make a major work-life decision that had me twirling in circles.
You see most people (including ME) would rather not have to make decisions at all. Decisions make our head hurt.
After all, what if we make the wrong choice? That would really suck!
So instead we try to ignore whatever it is that prompted the need to decide in the first place and hope the whole issue/problem/opportunity just quietly goes away on its own.
Of course the obvious problem with this approach is No Decision = Status Quo.
But as my friend and massively successful business coach Suzanne Evans points out, there’s a far more serious consequence, namely:
“Indecision is a form of self-abuse”
Like I said, two years ago I had to make a tough decision when I was presented with an unexpected opportunity to buy a great house 20 miles south of the great house I already lived in.
I really wasn’t looking to make a move.
And with two major projects in the works, it couldn’t have been a worse time to juggle trying to sell one house and buy another.
All that packing and unpacking… Dealing with renovations at the old house… dealing with renovations at the new house… Time away from my business…
Still though, there was something calling me about this new place.
I loved the view… the closer proximity to the airport… the view… the fact that the house came with an attached apartment… the view… the beautiful neighborhood… the view…
And did I mention the view 🙂
True, this new view was incredible. But then again, I really loved this peaceful meadow view from my current home.
I was SO torn!
That’s when I remembered…
If You’re Having A Hard Time Deciding It’s Because Your Heart Is At War With Your Head
All my head could think about was all the work I faced buying and selling a home.
My head reminded me of everything else I had on my plate right now.
When my heart would try to intervene my head would drown it out. “There will be other houses with nice views Valerie…” And “You can always move when the timing is better.”
Still I felt called to this new home.
The best thing to do was just not think about it at all. Problem solved.
That’s when I realized by ignoring the decision I had in fact made a choice.
By not consciously deciding one way or the other, I was choosing to stay exactly where I was. And that didn’t feel great either.
Like I said, I’m not a fan of self-abuse. So instead I employed a technique I’ve used many times with my own clients who were struggling with indecision.
It’s remarkably simple, and virtually foolproof.
Flip a Coin – Seriously
To some the suggestion that a flip of the coin should determine the outcome of a major life decision may sound… well, flip.
But I assure you it works. Prove it to yourself. To start think of a decision you need to make. Then…
- Close your eyes
- Take three really slow, deep breaths
- Now focus your emotional attention on all the reasons you should say no.. Picture the downsides… imagine all the nagging “what-ifs” involving money, fear of failure, fear of success actually happening…
- Next focus your emotional attention on the part that excites you… the opportunities it presents… all the things you find so appealing about saying yes…
- Imagine how you will feel tomorrow if you say Yes
- Next imagine how you will feel tomorrow if you say No
- Then picture your life a year from now if you had said Yes
- Next picture your life a year from now if you had said No
- Open your eyes and flip a coin – heads is Yes; tails is No.
- Finally take one more deep breath and tune into your reaction
This last step is critical.
Because no matter how your coin flip turns out I guarantee you are going to have one of two reactions.
Do You Feel Relief? Or Do You Feel Disappointment?
If you feel relieved, then you know for certain in your heart of hearts what’s right for you.
If you feel disappointed, then chances are your head is getting in way.
Disappointment is a signal that you’re allowing fear, self-doubt, and other needless dream busters to rule your life.
No matter what the outcome, keep this in mind:
If you still decide to say No – ask yourself: “Am I okay with wherever I am today being where I am in a month… or a year… or five years… or possibly for the rest of my life?”
The choice my friend is yours.
Either way flip a coin and then follow your heart. It’s always worked for me.
By the way this is the fabulous new view I enjoy from my new house…
I’m half an hour closer to the airport. Plus I renovated the attached apartment and it now generates anywhere from $1,600-$2,400 a month in passive income.
Bliss + Convenience + Cha-Ching!
Shameless Plug
Right this moment, a few of you are trying to make the exciting decision to join a wonderfully international Tribe of like-minded “idea people” for my upcoming Profiting From Your Passions® coach training.
If the answer to the coin flip exercise is YES, consider this a gentle reminder that the Early Bird discount ends today.
If want to change your life and save money, I urge you to register by midnight TONIGHT before the $500 savings plus the other valuable bonuses end.
